Hey girls =)

dun think i'll be seeing you girls in a while coz your exams are coming up, which btw JIAYOU! ahhah .. do your best alright! dun give yourself the chance to look back and say "i should have .." just give your best in whatever you do and whatever comes out of it, accept it knowing you've done all your could! that's living with no regrets!

anyway, i would like to invite y'all to our guest service this coming Sunday ...

Topic: What to do with Unforgiveness
Speaker: Joseph Chean
Date: 27th April
Time: 10am
Venue: SAS Auditorium (Potong Pasir)

hahah Joseph Chean is Jaslyn's speaker and i can understand why .. he's very engaging, and being one who has experienced a lot in his life, his sharing is inspiring and certainly a pity to miss .. dun think it'll be easy to fall asleep with him as the speaker ... but more importantly ..

i think the topic on unforgiveness is something that's very relevant to each one of us ..

Have you ever struggled to forgive someone for a hurt done? Do you know the depression that resentment brings? Have you felt the invisible prison bars of not being able to overcome hate?

sometimes unforgiveness may not surface as the vengence kind, where there's a lot of revenge taking place .. sometimes, it may just be in the form of "it's okay, nevermind, just forget about it, let's move on" while the hurt, pain and disappointment is just brushed aside and buried somewhere deep inside us .. until the next time something similar happens, or just something that triggers that buried hurt, and we may find it harder to say "it's okay, nevermind, just forget about it, let's move on"

How do we actually move on from the hurts? Can we really forgive and forget? Can we really mean it when we say "it's okay, nevermind" or is it just easier than having to face up to our hurts, to be honest with ourselves and others about how we really feel? How can we truly forgive?

perhaps before we even consider how we can truly forgive, maybe we'll ask, why should we forgive? when someone has done you wrong, you would probably feel hurt, betrayed, disappointed, angry, and forgiveness will most likely not be a natural choice. you may even feel that you have the right to withhold forgiveness. and maybe you're right, coz forgiveness is a choice! and if you choose not to forgive, then you don't. but do you realise, or have you ever experienced, what happens when you choose not to forgive, but to hold on to all your hurts? how miserable you can feel. how depressing it can be. when you just sweep it under the carpet, and try to forgive and forget, how tiring it is that your hurts shld surface when the smallest thing that happens can trigger it off all over again. do you realise that choosing unforgiveness, will only trap you in misery and depression?

Forgiveness is a choice! A choice that frees both the person releasing it and the person receiving it, from their hurts and pains. A choice that can bring about reconciliation, that can mend a broken relationship. Forgiving someone does not necessarily mean that the person will change or won't hurt you again. But it's a choice made independent of the circumstances, of what may happen again. It's the desire of the heart to mend a broken relationship, to simply forgive.

i'm talking about all these as one who has experienced the struggles of unforgiveness. and before i even share my story, i want to give thanks to God, for He is the One who has helped me overcome unforgiveness.
when i was a child, i loved my dad coz he's the one who would pamper me and i just simply loved him. like when people ask me who i love more, bet my parents, i would definitely say with pride that i loved my dad more. but then as i grew up, in seconday school that i started to develop hatred towards my dad. i hated my dad. i hated him so much that i couldn't stand the sight of him, couldn't stand to be near him at all. i hated the way he looked at me, the way he tried to joke with me, i hated his voice, his very presence. there was a period when he worked overseas and i was so glad, that i could take a break from having to hate him. then there was a night when i went for a concert and i came home around midnight or later. when i reached my flat, i saw my dad waiting for me at the lift. most children would be so touched by that, to have their parents waiting up for them, to show such love and concern. but i wasn't. instead of feeling touched, i was irritated. i didn't appreciate that at all. (at least not at that point, i do appreciate it now.) i didn't really acknowledge his presence at all. when we reached our house unit, i went in first and i didn't hold the door for him, so it kinda slammed very loudly. i didn't mean to slam it, i was shocked too, but i just went into my room. then i wanted to use the bathroom in my parents' room to wash up, but before i managed to enter, i heard my parents whispering, and out of curiosity, i eavesdropped. and i heard my dad mumbling something to my mum, who then said something like "the teenage years is like that one..." i didn't manage to hear everything, and i didn't have to. it hit me then, how hurt my dad must be feeling. and it began to hurt me. and i cried. and since that night, i started to dislike how i hated my dad. even after i've become a Christian in JC1, i couldn't get over my hatred. but i knew that God wants to restore my relationship with my dad. so then i began to look to God, and i asked Him time and time again, to help me to forgive. i tried to find out from God what was the cause of my hatred towards my dad. i struggled for like a year, even as a Christian. it was a tiring period. a lot of times when i thought i was able to forgive my dad, when i thought it was okay already, but i realised that i had just been sweeping things under the carpet. i was just trying to forget all that had happened. each time i asked God to show me what had made me hate him, God brought to mind an incident that happened when i was around 12yrs old, can't remember. but each time God showed me that incident, i just thought it must be something else! i continued to ask God what was the reason and still God showed me the same incident. finally, during a service on sunday, i asked God for a final time, what was the reason why i hated my dad, and God showed me once more the same incident. i then realised that God had been showing me all along, but i just couldn't accept it myself. but that day, i accepted the reason, i accepted what God had shown me. and i accepted the fact that i was hurt. i was hurt by that incident. God knew i was hurt. so i admitted to God that i was hurt and i surrendered my hurts to Him. so God took away my hurt and in place of it He gave forgiveness. so i am able to forgive my dad. so i am able to love my dad. and i can only say, it's all by the grace of God. i tried to forgive with my own effort and strength but i just failed. it was God who assured me that He knew my hurt and all i needed to do was to surrender my hurt to Him and He would help me forgive. and He has forgiven me, for hating my dad, that i may forgive him.

and you know what, the God who has set me free from unforgiveness, cares about you too and He wants to set you free from any unforgiveness that you may harbour in your heart, because He loves you. so if you want to find out more on what to do with unforgiveness, or you would like to ask God to help you, do come for our guest service, or approach any of the helpers =) or you can even just pray to God at your own time =) pray, believing that God hears and will answer your prayers =)

thanks for your time!

God bless y'all =)


- eleora =)